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14 September 2005


So I nearly freaked out yesterday. And the day before that. And then there was that moment at 1030 this morning. If you can't see me, I'm clenching my jaw and chewing the inside of my lip. I do that when I get stressed. What freaks me out the most is that I'M NOT THROUGH MY FIRST FULL WEEK!!!

wow. I may have to start drinking again. Ha. There's no 'may' about it. Bring on the Ceasars, baby. We're going to the Snotty Hound tonight and they have the best ones with pickled jalepeno beans in them. I'm ordering two. Atleast. Could someone call me at 9 tomorrow morning? I have class at 10. I've really been working on not swearing so I've decided that 'mother fucker' is no longer swearing, but rather a perfect description of, well, life in general. Fuck you Zen!

Sorry Smarts for not talking longer - I'm brain dead, but still required to function. I'm not happy about it.

Next stop is to get to the schools to hand out my card. I need to set up a fresh roster of kids for October (I have a tutoring business) so I can quit my regular full time job and then just concentrate on full time studying. Wow. No wonder I have issues. I'm bloody retarded.

On other notes, mom and I went for a walk last night. It was a beautiful evening and she caught me up on all the local gossip. She's just so cute when she giggles. We told stories and got all teary-eyed (the good kind) and told each other just how proud we were of one another. It was the kind of evening when we met people we knew and they said "Nice evening, eh?" "Beautiful" mom and I would reply in tandum. It really was a nice evening. Beautiful. Dad had dinner all cooked for when I walked through the door. He's not working right now, so he's perfecting his culinary techniques. You can tell he loves his kids. It reminds me to always make sure to tell him just how much I love him. He's a good egg.

I can still go on nice walks in a beautiful evening, after eating a wonderful dinner. Apparently life isn't so bad afterall. I think my cloud just lifted.

ms d

When you arise in the morning
Give thanks for the morning light.
Give thanks for your life and strength.
Give thanks for your food
and give thanks for the joy of living.
And if perchance you see no reason for giving thanks,
Rest assured the fault is in yourself.

American Indian saying

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