I've a lot on my brain tonight - the majority of it debating on whether or not to make a decision that probably won't have the greatest outcomes. One would think that that little tidbit alone would make it a simple decision. And it does. I know what should be done. But like my track record states - there are many decisions that should have been simple, that should have been 'what should be done'. Let's just say that I'm not so good at it.
There are a lot of trees changing colour already, but there was one in particular - a softwood - that stood out. It was a beautiful bright orange tree that held tall like a beacon. A vision of loveliness that you couldn't miss. Funny thing though, that the very thing that made it beautiful simply signified that inside, it was dead. I think that's the answer to my dilemma: that I can do what I know that I shouldn't, and I can be beautiful on the outside while doing it. But in the end, I just end up dying a little more inside. I'm learning that a lot of things in this immediate life just aren't worth the effort.
The news has been inundated with Hurricane Katrina. I was disturbed by a fellow's comments at work - a harsh reality that says a lot about our world. "It's a disaster, they happen everyday. Move on". I hope I don't ever 'move on'. I hope that I am always disturbed by the hurts of this world. I hope I never forget my humanness is as real as the next and that there are no superheros to swoop in and save the day. May I be reminded of the grace in my own life, reminded to always willingly pass it on.
"The soul would have no rainbow, had the eyes no tears" John Vance Cheney (1848-1929)