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07 September 2005

A new year

I can't believe tomorrow is the first day of classes. If I think about it too much, I get that sensation of being overwhelmed. If I think about it just the right amount, I get really excited. I'm not sure where I'm at this evening, with particular regards to thinking amounts. Regardless, class starts tomorrow.

Last night I spent at mom and dad's and had an enjoyable time. I tutored and then we went for a walk. We chatted about this and that and then watched Oprah's coverage of the Gulf coast. And we cried. We all have our thoughts on it, so I'll refrain from babbling on tonight. All I know is that somewhere, amidst the rubble, He has a plan. For what, when or who, I've no idea. But I'll wait. For the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, I have faith in the fact that He will move mountains.

The day's been good. CJ, kiddo and I ate hotdogs at our store. We chatted about the first day of school and mulled over the comings and goings of all those who are coming and going. CJ is frustrated right now, and maybe I shouldn't say so, but I still learn so much from her. Even when she believes she is stagnant. I have a feeling it's like growing a plant - nothing's happening on the outside until something shoots out of the ground. But it's still growing underneath, and not surprising at all, kept alive by shit... er, fertilizer. No, shit. Some of the prettiest, wildest flowers have grown in pastures of crap. You are my sunflower.

Kiki and I have fallen in love with horses. And cowboys. It's true. I have metaphorically fallen in love with men in tight wranglers with jaunty walks. In fact, I even bought a cowboy hat. It's baby blue and made of cordroy, but those are only minor details. The fact of the matter is that I am in love with a man that can reign in a thousand pound animal with gentle strength - never squashing the power, but rather channeling it. Yes, this is why I am in love with cowboys. Because in my mind, they wouldn't be scared of my strength and power. I would be a thing of beauty in their eyes - not to be broken. And let me tell you, they're in for a hell of a ride! ;)

I'm reading "The Purpose Driven Life". I'm halfway done. I'll comment later... right now there's still too much to chew on. In the meantime, I am learning that God answers prayer... just rarely in the way that I expect.

Night all - sleep well. You too, Lulu.

ms d

"In the midst of outer dangers I have felt an inner calm and known resources of strength that only God could give. In many instances I have felt the power of God transforming the fatigue of dispair into the buoyancy of hope. I am convinced that the universe is under the control of a loving purpose and that in the struggle for righteousness, man has cosmic companionship. Behind the harsh appearances of the world there is a benign power" Martin Luther King (1929-1968)


Smarts said...

what a beautiful post.

Curious Jane said...

I'm gonna shoot a root right outta the shit.

HA hahahahahahahahahaha

I love you.