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01 September 2005

Please see what gmail so beautifully delivered.

I'm sorry, I couldn't stop laughing. :) It's nice to know we're all retarded and continue to solidify that reality in print. YOU ROCK!
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Info for babysitting, stop laughing. Inbox

Kiki to me
More options 2:02 pm (52 minutes ago)

Hi Ms D,

Thank you so much for babysitting for us this weekend!!! Below you will find the necessary tid-bits for the kiddies.

FEEDING:

They all eat twice a day and have their own labeled containers of food. I’ll leave Vince and Owen’s in the pantry and Max’s in the bedroom. All treats are in cupboards above the sink.

MAX: He will eat upstairs preferably without Owen present as he eats Max’s food.

OWEN: He should eat on the freezer to keep Vince away from his food.

VINCE: I mix vet and dry food (as you know). The cats won’t eat his food but he should eat one hour before exercise or two hours after exercise (recommended for barrel chested dogs).

SLEEPING:

The all sleep in the bedroom, or wherever they may roam. If Vince is restless and is keeping you awake feel free to put him in the “kennel.” Otherwise he will sleep on the blanket on the bedroom floor.

KENNEL:

When you put Vince in the kennel he will require a treat, he prefers a pigs ear, I also have used the “t-bone” treats as well. To keep the door shut I lie the roll of paper down and brace it between the laundry room door and the tall white shelf as the door doesn’t latch on its own. I only keep water and an assortment of toys in there.

WALKING:

He uses the gentle leader, blah blah. Please note the reference to eating before and after exercise under the “feeding” heading for health purposes. He is to “stop” and “sit” at traffic lights or whenever you must stop for any reason. I usually break the milk bones in half so I have lots to reward him occasionally for staying by my side and when he “comes” when called. Blah blah…

POOP:
Poop needs to be picked up in the yard too since he is a secret.

MOCKING:

Feel free to mock my anal retentiveness with respect to this matter. Yes, I am aware you have owned dogs before.

I will forward any amendments as I see fit.

Thank you for your attention to the aforementioned subjects

5 comments:

Kiki said...

I totally knew this would end up here!

Smarts said...

don't ever make fun of me again.

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

LOL - yeah, kiki totally kicks your butt in the high maintenance dog owner, eh?!

Curious Jane said...

Ms D we are so getting Vince drunk. And we're going to feed him cheetos and french fries - from the table. And we may run through a few stopsigns....

I love you Kiki! You nut.

;)

Kiki said...

OH MY GOD!!! CJ, your post caused my heart to race...