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25 October 2005

The Morph

Christmas time is 'nigh upon us...... Christmas with the Rat Pack is being burned onto my computer as we type, LH is already planning where to put the trees with his arrival home from San Fran in mid November. Soon the Vince Guaraldi trio will have to dust off Charlie Brown and begin bringing the Season to life. I think we may bake shortbread. If only it were snowing out.

But in the midterm though, we'll discuss the morphage of my hair.

Allow me to begin with April - quickly after J and I first split and I was a platinum blonde... Now everyone seemed to love me as a platinum. Must be because it's just so darn natural....................... It's true, it is a lot of fun. I drank a lot of $5 wine and made more than one poor decision on Kiki's couch. But it's like they say - a change is as good as a rest.

Next came a little darker. This is Smarts and I in Ottawa in March. Shittiest time of year to go ANYWHERE IN CANADA, but away we went and had a really good time. Not that I'm biased, but I think we look pretty good in this picture ;)

In the summer, no matter how hard I try, I can't keep my hair dark. It (and I) love the sun. But, thankfully, we are rewarded - I bleach blonde and tan dark. I'm still working on my bikini body, but I think the real reality is that I really just don't care that much about perfecting my wonderful imperfections.

Next came the brunette. This was my (apparently very brief) moment in time where I felt the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders, where the stars aligned and the angels sang, the doves flew and I remembered all those things I forgot to say I'm sorry for. This was my time of stripping away. The only problem with this stage, the pivitol point, is that no matter how often I may associate with Ms Clairol, my blonde roots keep creeping back in. I am reminded of a story of a king that trained a cat to walk upright and to wear a suit and to serve tea in all the proper ways. Yet as soon as a mouse scurried across the floor, the cat dropped back to all fours and became a cat once again - all in the blink of an eye. Perhaps that's a bit like me. Grounded but still chasing rainbows - And powerless to be anything other than exactly what I am.

And right now there's me - Plunked here on my nubbin ball, the same one that only the other weekend, Smarts wanted to "Ride it like a bull". It's all strangely fitting - my blonde roots, my dark streaks, my touches of gold and copper. All good songs on an old faithful am radio. I am me - Ms D, in all my light and darkness, my poor choices and all my forgiveness, my fucked-up-ness and my surreal sense of sanity. All sewn together with my moments of WooHoo and Grace.

Strangely, I don't think I look to badly at all. Inside or out.

In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. Albert Camus (1913-1960)


Smarts said...

Fuck. I need new hair.

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

well, you are arriving at the doorstep of change this afternoon!


Fenn said...

i think you make a beautiful brunette, it compliments your complexion giving you a healthy glow. but that's just some strangers opinion lol.

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

sometimes a stranger's opinion makes your day completely :) Thanks!

Curious Jane said...

I am SO buying you a winter white sweater. You look totally FAB in (all the pics) that pic on the lower right. I LOVE IT.