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24 November 2005

The Challenge

I have been challenged.... more appropriately, tagged, to list only five things for which I am thankful. I will list 10 because even though that number has doubled from the original, it is still small in scope. Thank you Labosseuse.

1) I am thankful for my life. I realize it is a general and sweeping statement, that both laments and leaves hanging, but I am. I wake up each morning and wonder what it will bring. In fact, I can't decide whether I am 5 years old and starting school for the first time ever, or if I'm 106 and left on this earth wondering what's left to be done. For those dreadful and wonderful moments where I laugh so hard that I can't breath, only to recover with a snort. To me, this is life.

2) I am thankful that I have little fear in loving. My mom once commented that I made loving someone look easy - not that it ever was, but that I always seemed to put my heart into it effortlessly. That meant so much to me and I always think about it when I get scared to step out on a limb. If you can love you can do anything.

3) I am thankful for my short attention span because it helps me forget silly hurts. Sometimes the bigger hurts take longer, but eventually they too run their course.

4) I am thankful for my friends Kiki and CJ because not only are we bloggers in crime, but flesh and blood Conquerors of the Universe. I know that I talk about them a lot, but sometimes it even feels surreal to me. Maybe I don't tell them enough. Maybe I tell them too often. It doesn't matter because it will never change a thing. Thank goodness.

5) I am thankful for my sister and brother - because no matter how mad we may be at one another, we always get over it and go for a round of golf.

6) I am thankful for quiet moments, after dark and when the rest of the world has gone to bed. My life is much like my writing... out there and loud... busy and constantly trying to make a point. With age came the grace in understanding that it was ok for me to just be. To sit and listen to the quiet and count the beats of my heart, to my breath going in and out. To not try and find a solution, but rather sit and wait for the dust to settle a bit more.

7) I am thankful for my mom. For all her overbearingness and tough love. For her ability to say 'we'll get through this' and believe it. For her desire to save the world and get frustrated when she can't. For her apologies for when she cries because she always thinks she needs to be tough. For her hugs that remind me she really is a superhero.

8) I am thankful for my dad. For his quiet, faraway look that he gets in his eye when he's in his rocking chair and reading his bible. For the way he dangles his glasses between his forefinger and thumb and smiles at any interruptions. For the way he grins and laughs and dances with mom in the kitchen. For the way he holds himself in when he really wants to let loose. For his hugs when I've been away longer than usual, and his whispers of 'I don't want to let you go'.

9) I am thankful for God. Another big general and sweeping statment. Moments that see me embracing and others that see me denying. Times that I draw near and then only to pull away. Regardless of what I do or don't do, folks, this I can't deny, atleast not in my heart of hearts. My prayers have never fallen on deaf ears and I believe in special places that last for eternity. I believe that I'll have more than my fair share of explaining to do. I am two sides of the same coin and all parties involved are well aware.

10) I am thankful for memories. Of the the times that I did it right and then times where I look back and go "wow. what was I thinking??". Of tattoos and woohoo. Of bible studies and deep questions. Of beaten and clear paths and getting lost in the woods. From my post on the nubin ball I survey all that is around me. I'd give it a 4 out of 5 Potors.

my turn to tag... CJ, Kiki, Smarts and Potor. Go strut your stuff.

1 comment:

Potor said...

I will get to it I promise, I just a have a few thought to complete first.