Anyways, when I rolled over at 6:32 this morning and stared at my clock, waiting for it to sqwak loudly at 6:45, I was struck by the notion of how lovely it would be to wake up to music, a little Capital FM or Freddy on the Fox, instead of that gawd-awful squelch the wakes up the neighbours three doors down. So when my brother called this morning and requested my assistance in helping him pick out new spectacles, I decided to pop in to that famous chain we all love to hate and are addicted like crack cocaine too, and bought one.
Do you know that you can buy a clock radio for $8 bucks, taxes included? I thought that was pretty cheap. It's nothing fancy - no cd or radio or built in dvd player with detachable flat screen monitor - just a plain ol' clock radio - the kind I had when I was a kid, with the big dial on the side to 'kind of' find a radio station. I was pleased with my purchase.
Once we got my brother situated around with new eyewear (which he desperatly needed - think 'early 90's with tint and a hint of the aviator look - decidedly not cool), we went for lunch at a local pub. I had to sit back and watch and laugh because women love him. It's like he said, he's middle aged, a bit chubby (not really, his words, not mine), has calloused hands and not much education, and they eat him up. He looked at me with a cheshire cat grin and said "I wonder why that is?". Yeah, I wonder. The old broad that set him up with new glasses was wet to her knees in the first 10 minutes of our being there. I asked him to keep it to a minimum with our waitress because I was hungry and really wanted to eat with minimal gagging. The waitress was lounging against our booth. WHO THE HELL LOUNGES ANYMORE??? I felt like she should have her hair twisted on top of her head, pencil behind her ear, chewing gum and wearing one of those pink outfits with the attached white apron. Yes, she looked that comfortable.
"Is there anything else? Anything at all?" I thought she just may break into "coffee, tea or me, sir?"
But then I thought about it. He looks them in the eye and smiles. He keeps his hands in his pockets. He always asks how their day is going in just the right way that says he's really interested in not making it bad or worse. I'd probably lounge too. If he weren't my freaking brother.
"Never try to establish a successful flirtation when your hair is a mess."