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10 January 2006

This can NOT be happening

Ever have one of those moments where you look around you, taking in the entire world within eyeshot, curl your upper lip, scrunch up your forehead and say "what the fuck?"

I'm having one of those evenings.

Some mother fucker - and I mean that in all of the fullness and glory that the term 'mother fucker' should be used in - has hi-jacked my social insurance number (social security) and has taken out a phone. They nailed my name correctly. They nailed my SIN number correctly. They fucked up my birthday. June 11, 1973 they said. Yeah, right. Mother Fuckers.

But then there's my roommate. I think my roommate is partial in this, but won't come clean, even though I gave him ample opportunity. Even though I looked him squarely in the eye and said "Please please please understand that I will be far less pissed off if you deal with me on the level, then if you fuck off and I find out later. Later will not be pretty. Later will be fucking ugly.

PC's birthday party / going away party is in 4 days. PC leaves for the other side of the country in 6 days. I turn 30 in 83 days. I have exams and major assignments due in less days than that. THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THIS TO BE HAPPENING. Do they (mother fuckers) not have any consideration for what an inconvenience this is going to be?

There is not enough yoga in the world to loosen up the tension in my back. My pelvic floor walked out and down the street. My ocean breathing just drowned those close to me. It's coming for me next.

I am going to sit in the dark and drink vodka. I may not bother mixing. I am going to say the fuck word a LOT and continue clenching my jaw. I will not read my reading assignment tomorrow. The crease on my forehead that is directly between my eyes is on the cusp of possibly swallowing my head whole.

And I have to poop.


ccaptious said...

Shit, that's rotten luck. I sincerely hope you find said motherfucker and break their legs

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

I'm warming the tire-iron as I type.

Smarts said...

how did you find out? at least you know sooner than later (shitty consolation).

Bridget said...

Oh no! Hope you swing hard and land all. That bites.

Fenn said...

just when i thought dealing with my own car deck mother fucking clepto was bad!