It was funny to sit out at the fire by myself. Once upon a time it wasn't an uncommon occurance. Nor was it strange to pack everything I needed for a weekend onto my back and head out somewhere that was a long ways off from where the road ended. I was trying to think about what it was that I felt when I sat there tonight, and the only thing that I could think was a meloncholy letdown. I wasn't passionately disappointed. Or righteously. Or even exhuberantly so. I'm not disappointed where my life has gone, just a bit sad that I couldn't take some parts of where it used to be, to where it is now. I know, I know, I could, but it wouldn't be the same. That was then and this is now, and to have the memories that I do from one small window in my one small world, is probably more than many have in a lifetime. So there shall be no complaining about that. It's crazy how things change though. Like all of a sudden you're doing this and then five years zings by and you're knee deep in that. And all you can do is sit there and look stupid and say outloud to an empty room How the hell did that happen??
My trip was wonderful. Peter and I came through a drive in a confined space and side by side for six weeks solid. It was quite a lesson to learn though, being mad at someone and still having to crawl into bed with them. I learned a lot about a lot of things I never expected to learn about. I would say that he was the man of my dreams, except I never dreamt about a man. But what I can say is that he is the man who makes everything right in my soul by simply walking into a room, and you can't get much better than that.
School has started again this week. It feels like I just finished yesterday, but I just need to keep in mind that every time I begin, it brings me closer to the finish. Funny how we come full circle, eh? Our beginning to our end only to start again. Life makes me laugh.
I got a new laptop and there's a webcam that came built into it. I had no idea what it was until I read the owners manual. What's worse was that my 11 year old nephew sent me a link and got it working for me. I popped up on both of our screens and he sends back: You look tired. I had to laugh because he's too young for me to tell him to fuck off. And it's probably not appropriate anyways. ;)
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.