My paper isn't done yet and it's due in about 29 hours, but that's a minor bump in the road. I don't know if it's funny or frightening that I can let a 10 page paper disrupt the flow of my world. It'll get done. It's just one of those things.
Last night I went to Grampie's, drank some tea, ate some of his banana bread that he made the day before, and then some chicken wings that my uncle Nick put in. He asked me how my week was going and I said Well, Gramp I've spent a lot of time sleeping and crying this week. He chuckled and looked at me over top of his reading glasses and said, yeah? me to! It's been a pretty good if you ask me what I think! I'm really not sure what I will do when it comes time for grampie to try out heaven because as far as I'm concerned he is really meant to live forever. So we chatted about this and that and I told him that I was having a tough time getting my act together. He asked me what I was going to do about it, because I'm the one in the driver's seat. He doesn't want me to go away, but he understands that sometimes it's needed. So I'm taking a break. I'm taking next term off, provided we can get the details straightened out.
I'm heading back out with Peter. I was timid to ask him... to go out and what would he think. I told him that I needed to talk to him and I needed him to be honest. He said ok and then promptly asked me what colour the kitchen was. I laughed and said that it wasn't about the kitchen. So I told him I wanted to take this term off and come out. He asked me twice if that's what I wanted and I answered twice that yes it was. And then he got excited. I think I expected the worst, but it didn't turn out that way. I think my seams might be tightening.
One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.