It's been awhile since I've written, and now that I think about it, I'm not sure why. I guess I was just taking life easy and not lamenting over what I had or what I didn't. I guess things just kind of had a flow with an ebb thrown in here and there. Somethings slowed down, others sped up, and I guess everything just happened as it needed. It's been nice. Satisfying. Maybe that's what it is, the whole big picture of things... being satisfied. Not fighting the things that are put before me, but rather just saying, ok, I can work with this. Don't get me wrong, I still have my oh shit moments, but even they aren't big deals in the big picture. I'm still learning lessons... but they just don't seem so hard anymore or demand so much. Atleast not for now.
The little life inside of me is 28 weeks today. We've officially entered our seventh month together and everyday I am overwhelmed with just how a blessing grows. She's already a lot like me... dancing around every nook and crannie in my belly, testing all the ways that she is most comfortable... trying them out but not making any serious decisions until the time comes. Probably at the last minute. Two weeks ago she was already over 2 lbs. Peter and I laugh, saying she's part monster, but there is such pride and priveledge in knowing that she's our monster. What a treat. In the morning she stretches and bumps, almost to say, mom, I need out of here... there are things we need to do. I hope she laughs out loud. A lot. I hope she's kind to strangers. I hope she remembers how important it is to carry herself before she carries others. I hope she loves life with gusto and never lets my fears get in her way.
I read a quote from Wayne Dyer today at some point. I think it was on the bottom of an email, or Facebook, or something, but I thought about it all day. And for the first time in a very long time, I'm there. I get it. I understand it. I'm doing it. I'm enjoying each step because time and so many things dance away too quickly. It may not be exactly what it said, but it's pretty darn close.
You don't dance to get to a certain place on the floor. You dance to enjoy each step for as long as it lasts.