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29 June 2007

It was a good day to drive with the window down. The sun shone bright, the humidity disappeared, and Frank Sinatra told me that he had me under his skin. I couldn't help but sing along. It was a day that I hadn't had in quite some time and I enjoyed it immensely. There's still a big part of me that can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I am "home", back to where I grew up. But like each time I arrive, I'm still shocked at how little changes, other than people just getting older. Funny how time does that. Alisa and I walked tonight and fell back into our old routine of simplicity. Her sister-in-law is over for the weekend, and she too had few demands tonight. Kids in bed... moms playing cards... stars coming with twilight. And a nice walk in the evening air.

It's been awhile since I've written, and now that I think about it, I'm not sure why. I guess I was just taking life easy and not lamenting over what I had or what I didn't. I guess things just kind of had a flow with an ebb thrown in here and there. Somethings slowed down, others sped up, and I guess everything just happened as it needed. It's been nice. Satisfying. Maybe that's what it is, the whole big picture of things... being satisfied. Not fighting the things that are put before me, but rather just saying, ok, I can work with this. Don't get me wrong, I still have my oh shit moments, but even they aren't big deals in the big picture. I'm still learning lessons... but they just don't seem so hard anymore or demand so much. Atleast not for now.

The little life inside of me is 28 weeks today. We've officially entered our seventh month together and everyday I am overwhelmed with just how a blessing grows. She's already a lot like me... dancing around every nook and crannie in my belly, testing all the ways that she is most comfortable... trying them out but not making any serious decisions until the time comes. Probably at the last minute. Two weeks ago she was already over 2 lbs. Peter and I laugh, saying she's part monster, but there is such pride and priveledge in knowing that she's our monster. What a treat. In the morning she stretches and bumps, almost to say, mom, I need out of here... there are things we need to do. I hope she laughs out loud. A lot. I hope she's kind to strangers. I hope she remembers how important it is to carry herself before she carries others. I hope she loves life with gusto and never lets my fears get in her way.

I read a quote from Wayne Dyer today at some point. I think it was on the bottom of an email, or Facebook, or something, but I thought about it all day. And for the first time in a very long time, I'm there. I get it. I understand it. I'm doing it. I'm enjoying each step because time and so many things dance away too quickly. It may not be exactly what it said, but it's pretty darn close.

You don't dance to get to a certain place on the floor. You dance to enjoy each step for as long as it lasts.

Wayne Dyer


Bridget said...

A fantastic update. You sound wonderful.

Ms Dare2dv8 said...

It's nice to be back :)

Colin Monty said...

Well Andrea you haven't written anything because like the rest of us Facebook has trapped you. hehehe
Oh I am so excited for you and your new little one. It's a girl is it? I love how you say, "I hope she laughs out loud and lots." Well my experience with my little girl is her belly laugh and it is contagious. Oh they squeak and sing and laugh and cuddle. Oh my favorite part of the day is having my kids sit on my lap curled in with their favorite teddy's (ugly things not what I would pick) and they suck their thumbs and we just enjoy the end of the day before bed. Most nights they are ready for bed and so am I. Thanks for writing always write you have a way with words.