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04 January 2008

I am so tired I hurt.

Christmas and New Year's is over. The first came in with a bang and an avalanche of beautifully wrapped and entirely unnecessary gifts; the latter came with sleep induced well before midnight. I'm glad to be soon back into a routine, although I am not glad to be back into another gruling semester. But I suppose it's like so many things, it just needs to be done.

Peter flew out this morning, heading back out west to refresh our bank accounts, but not excited to leave. There just seems to be so much in life, so much it gets all overwhelming just by the little details. I suspect it is an unconscious relief when the "big deals" arrive because your focus goes to just one thing. We were on the road this morning by 4 to make a 5:50am flight, so we took the route along the river. We've gotten 3 large snowfalls this past week, so snowbanks are averaging five feet high. It was -32 C this morning ("-" = minus, below zero, aka: fucking cold) and the trees were heavy with snow, almost creating a tunnel like effect. The stars were all out and the cold made them sparkle loudly where you could see each one perfectly. So we got him to the airport and put him on the plane. But this time it wasn't so hard. In 7 1/2 weeks, Ava and I will fly out for two weeks, and depending on a possible move, we may be doing a little house hunting. And I know that it may sound stupid, but I feel like an adult. Perhaps more shockingly, I'm happy to be an adult, making adult decisions. My mom gave me a plaque for my wall. It said "don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life". And I think that's my adult life is turning into.... a life. And that life is good.

The other day someone asked me if Ava had been big when she was born. I said she weighed 7lbs 4oz. But then I stopped and said that really, when you were squeezing someone out of your vagina after numerous hours of horrendous cramps, anything over a pound is a big baby. They agreed.

Ava will be 4 months old on the 10th and I go into the hospital for my biopsy. Somewhere we're both looking for a good day. This is her just shy of 3 months. I have to be honest - I make cute kids.

"Don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"


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