I so need the end to be in sight. What I'm getting is a road sign that says I have a long haul yet, but it's coming. I'm en route. I'm getting there. I've got a lot of, hell, I'll just say it... I've got A LOT OF FUCKING WORK TO DO!
April is here and quickly approaching its end, which is absolutley insane, but when I think about the winter, I can't say that I'm disappointed to feel the spring. It's been a big winter, but in hindsight (because it's always 20/20), it was good. In fact, in as many tears as it produced, as many conversations we didn't want to have but had to, I can look myself, and my husband, in the eye and appreciate that we made the right decision. We're worth this. I just had to learn how to fight and he had to learn how to listen. Oh yeah, and we had to learn to budget. I think for the very first time in my entire life, I feel like I am an adult, in an adult relationship that's healthy, and focusing on our family. School is finished completely in 7 weeks and to top it all off, we're expecting a new baby in November... and we're ecstatic. It's been scary, but worth it all. There's something to be said about trusting your heart to someone.....
Ava is growing like crazy and talking up a storm, helping me "maint" the hallway, occassionally eating the brush. Peter bought me a bike for my birthday and seat on back for her. I have a gecko tattoo on my back and the other day when we went out, my shirt lifted enough for it to show. Ava quickly whipped up my shirt and poked my back while frantically informing me "mommy! Mommy! Yizzard! Yizzard!". I said that yes, I knew it was there, so she lowered my shirt and proceeded to pet the yizzard while saying "here you go! nice yizzard, ahhh, nice! Yizzard yizzard yizzard."
I guess she likes my yizzard. I'm glad because we'll never be normal.